Hiverspace

[DervMan]

Almost there! I need a little bit more time to finalise my edits.

And you do realise that if you are waiting for it, you might be disappointed...

[MacrosBlackD]

Thats one of the downsides of being an avid reader... occasionally it happens.

[Commodore]

Must have need fix please give me give me give me. Just kidding I can wate.

[DervMan]

FINALLY...

Resolution is back from my proof reader. It's going up momentarily.

[mdoolitt]

Hello Dervman

Just finishe reading this. This is very good. My suggestion, and ithis could purely be a matter of personal preference, would be to have a bit more description and background details?

Your prose is very lean. It could use a bit more 'fat' on the bones. That's my feeling, anyway.

[DervMan]

Heya and thanks for the comments. It's a difficult blend to reach between describing the technical details and keeping to the characters, for the Hamilton stories I have tried a new (to me) style of cutting the descriptions and concentrating on the dialogue.


It still feels an alien style of writing to me. What did you think to the first and third parts?

[mdoolitt]

Heya and thanks for the comments. It's a difficult blend to reach between describing the technical details and keeping to the characters, for the Hamilton stories I have tried a new (to me) style of cutting the descriptions and concentrating on the dialogue.


It still feels an alien style of writing to me. What did you think to the first and third parts?

Dervman - I read Hiverspace and Exeter. Is there a third part I am missing?

One detail - your extensive description of using the scanner in different ways to detect the ships is not 'canon' to the game, I think? Still well done, and below the level of detail the game covers. Things like that must ocur, but the game abstracts them away. I did similar things in my own story.

[edit] One other thing I just noticed - sometimes you leave off who is doing the speaking. F'rex

“If they’re still out there... we won’t see them coming.”

We don't know who is speaking. From context it can be figured out, or guessed, but the usual advice to aspiring writers is to make it more clear. Some readers have low patience.

[DervMan]

Exeter took the idea of a world war one level of technology in the SotS universe and mixed it up with U-Boats... Nodespace travel is also significantly accelerated.

I'm increasingly unhappy with the third part, Resolution. It doesn't work so well.

[mdoolitt]

Exeter took the idea of a world war one level of technology in the SotS universe and mixed it up with U-Boats... Nodespace travel is also significantly accelerated.

Ok, I've finished part 3 Resolution. One nitpick - Tau Ceti is actually a yellow star much like our sun, not a large blue star.

I'm increasingly unhappy with the third part, Resolution. It doesn't work so well.

What do you not like? Don't like where its taking the narrative? Too much/little action? How certain plot elements were handled?

For my part, I thought the writing technique had improved a bit.

Do you ever think this forum would be great to do a writers workshop?

[DervMan]

"Heh" on the detail screw up regarding Tau Ceti.

When I re-read my own material, Resolution doesn't have the same impact as Exeter or Hiverspace. The writing may have matured but the story is missing something... and I can't put my finger on it. But rather than dwell and delay, as really I'm never satisfied with my own work, I tentatively completed it.

[mdoolitt]

Middle chapter doldrums, most likely. Or maybe you needed to step away from for a while and come back to it with fresh eyes.

I saw you had a lot of action in each chapter. Do you feel that's a necessity for Sots? My own narrative seems a bit glacial in comparison.

[DervMan]

It's a difference of style. In my writing of old, dialogue in an action scene has been a real weakness. So the Hamilton project is an excuse to practice.

Also... I started Exeter in May 2007.

[mdoolitt]

Dervman, you've written a few stories in the Sots-verse. I know Sots is all about mighty space fleets and dakka-dakka zap, but do you there there is also a place for 'sense of wonder', intrigue or politics? I'm thinking classics like Ringworld, Demon Princes and Pride of Chanur.?

[DervMan]

Oh absolutely there is. That's the beauty of the universe.

The conflicts in the three short stories have been limited in scale, mostly because of the kind of short story I have written. Larger battles would almost certainly want another style of writing... although... heh watch this space.