The Deep - A Vignette

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Mister_Pibbles
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The Deep - A Vignette

Post by Mister_Pibbles » Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:14 am

Shiishnu heard their songs, their songs of grief, their songs of loss. Their bodies swam close around his, distorting the water around his frame. His eyes were closed, his fins motionless, but his mind could not shut out the songs of pain and remorse...

Shiishnu's lungs filled with the cold fluid. He began to gag and choke as the air was driven from his lungs. His tail thrashed as he tried to escape, but he was restrained by those around him. The liquid filled him, yet he did not die...

Shiishnu was trained. He was reformed. He became a weapon, forged and sharpened for war. He learned to swim in the deep, his vessel skimming the skies over new seas...

Shiishnu's craft plunged into the atmosphere, and assaulted the surface of many worlds. He purified them, wiped them clean. Yet he felt their deaths, the populations of entire worlds screaming out as their lives were extinguished...

Shiishnu felt the void... the destroyer had split, its contents spilling out into the blackness around it. His lungs ached for air, his body felt weak without the cushion of liquid around him. The vacuum silenced his song, froze his skin, and tore his lungs, as dozens around him suffered the same fate, as the enemy cruiser tore into a second ship...

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Aboard the Human Missile Cruiser "Venice"

"Captain, we've successfully destroyed one of their Assault Shuttle Destroyers"
"Excellent. Continue to attack their forces."
"Estimated surface losses at two million, sir..."
"Let's send those whales to the bottom of the sea..."
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Day
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Post by Day » Sun Jun 25, 2006 8:51 am

I like this piece. (Is it appropriate to post comments on fiction in this forum, or just the fiction? If this should go somewhere else, I invite an admin to move it, or ask that I delete it, or whatever). I had thought about doing something kind of like it. Less a story and more a snap-shot. I still may, especially after seeing how someone else worked it.


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Post by Mister_Pibbles » Sun Jun 25, 2006 8:57 am

It's fine to post comments in this, since it's completed. Thanks for the comments, btw.

I like vignettes ('snapshots') because they're more about emotion than plot. Kind of like a painting with words...
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SSgtScott
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Post by SSgtScott » Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:28 am

I really like it; I haven’t seen anything from a Liir point of view before. I am also a fan of the short story/vignette from for sci-fi, I like how they can deal just a theme and not get bogged down with plot issues. Or who they can give you a quick intimate glimpse of one character without having to really flesh out other people that they come in contact with. It is like a one night stand, you have the quick intimacy with out having to deal with the all baggage that could come later from a long-term relationship.
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Post by Erinys » Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:02 pm

Well done. :) Many thanks for posting.

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Post by g33kst4r » Tue Jun 27, 2006 3:21 am

I like this vignette - well done!

I think the piece is quick, imaginative and to the point as vignettes should be!
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ecs521
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Post by ecs521 » Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:40 pm

Mister_Pibbles would you mind if it is copied this over to the wiki?

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Post by Mister_Pibbles » Wed Jun 28, 2006 2:38 am

I don't mind at all, but thanks for asking.
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