Rakes - Demolitions

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Dirt Gunfrey
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Rakes - Demolitions

Post by Dirt Gunfrey » Wed Jul 05, 2006 4:08 am

It's cold out here. It's always cold out here. But, that's the life. And it's not like it's all bad. Plenty of company. Interesting work. And the view! Nothing beats it, not on any planet in the galaxy. The stars like diamond dust on black satin, the world far below you spinning lazily, a majestic jewel glittering in the big dark emptiness... or something like that. Look, I'm not a poet. I'm just trying to make the best of things here.

It's not like you can just sit and enjoy it though. At least not for long. It's always busy, busy, busy. And the noise! No way you'll ever be able to appreciate the beauty in peaceful silence. Part of it is the big circulator bolted to your shoulder that keeps your blood warm, can't really do without that unless you want to enjoy your peaceful silence for eternity; but even if you could get rid of that, there's the constant radio chatter. People droning on and on about all kinds of things that have nothing to do with you, so that it's all you can do to ignore it, and then if someone does call your name you're lucky if you --

"RAKES! Pay attention, shit-hatch! Are those charges set yet?!"

Sigh. See what I mean?

"Ready in twenty, brother." I set the final anchor bolt and flipped the arming trigger. Shielding my eyes, I took one last look through the polarized window. Amazing how spacious it was inside. The human corpse was still there in the dim red light, sitting at a console with a piece of shrapnel in his chest and a look of surprise on his face. I waved at him, and pushed away, floating into space.

I surveyed the ship as I drew back from it. It was a crippled hulk but still in one piece more or less, and it still had power. Amazing, really, for how fragile it looked. We didn't usually capture them this intact, so it was quite a prize for us. But I didn't envy the survivors. Four dozen soldiers were clinging to the hull near the windows, waiting to go in when my job was done, and they looked hungry.

"In five... two, one, firing." I thumbed the detonator and the transparent panels on the observation deck shattered. Gasses rushed out in explosive decompression, and when the debris cleared the warriors went clambering inside with a battlecry. I sighed and crossed my arms behind my head and over my belly. I stretched out in the void, humming to myself to tune out the chatter of gunfire and the screams of dying humans as the soldiers called out battle reports on the radio. I looked up at the stars and smiled. Yeah, it wasn't all bad out here...
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Erinys
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Post by Erinys » Wed Jul 05, 2006 2:00 pm

Very nice! I like it. A good piece written from the spacer's point of view.

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Dirt Gunfrey
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Post by Dirt Gunfrey » Wed Jul 05, 2006 3:54 pm

Thanks. :) I'd been wanting to write something, so, there ya go. And I wanted to use the 'shit-hatch' insult.
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g33kst4r
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Post by g33kst4r » Thu Jul 06, 2006 9:50 am

Yep it has a jaded spacers take on capturing [or devouring] humans....rather original - well done!!
Captain of the cloaked Cruiser Damocles
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Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere

Bossman
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Post by Bossman » Thu Jul 06, 2006 2:49 pm

g33kst4r wrote:Yep it has a jaded spacers take on capturing [or devouring] humans....rather original - well done!!

I thought the Hivers were capturing the ship for salvaging. Think of all the shinies it must have.
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g33kst4r
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Post by g33kst4r » Fri Jul 07, 2006 1:00 am

Yep it has a jaded {HIVER spacer helping HIVER marines} take on capturing [or devouring] humans....rather original - well done!!

:shock: 8) :lol:
Captain of the cloaked Cruiser Damocles
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Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere

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SheerStealth
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Post by SheerStealth » Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:10 am

I like the way you add subtle humor and personality into the character--it makes it very easy to get interested in what he has to say. Thats a very hard thing to do, at least for me, so I congratulate you on what you have so far. Keep it up!
Any man can take a pen and write words. Only a writer can take a pen, and craft worlds.

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Dirt Gunfrey
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Post by Dirt Gunfrey » Fri Jun 01, 2007 6:35 am

So it turns out I'm not half-bad as a writer, after all. I just landed a job with the writing team at Bioware Austin. :)

Thanks to everyone for reading, and the encouraging comments.
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DervMan
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Post by DervMan » Sat Jun 02, 2007 9:01 pm

Yeah; that's grand. Writing in the character of another species is difficult and your style works.

Fancy being a proof reader? :wink:

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